How to Flirt with a Guy over Text

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Text messaging is a great form of communication that you can use to flirt with your guy. Flirt texting can be done with someone you are just getting to know, a guy you are developing a relationship with or a long-term partner to add some fun into your relationship. You can also use texting to stay in touch, build interest and connect with a guy prior to making the next move. Texting takes the stress out of responding right away, allows you to take your time and share your thoughts and feelings easier.[1]


EditTexting Basics

  1. Keep your texts short. Texting has limitations due to phone screen size. You can usually only send so many characters per text, and it can be difficult to try and read long text messages on a phone. For this reason, you need to make every word you text count by ensuring that all texts concise and to the point. Avoid texting about anything that doesn’t apply to you or the other person.[2]
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    • Use shortcuts whenever possible, such as LOL (Laugh Out Loud), KOTC (Kiss On The Cheek) or BRB (Be Right Back).
  2. Personalize texts. Text messages can feel impersonal because they lack the visual, touch or auditory cues between people that occur in person. Refer to the guy in your text by his name or a nickname, so he knows the text is meant only for him. Recall a time you spent together, and mention an inside joke between the two of you. This can make the texts feel a little more intimate.
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    • Don’t mass text. This is an extremely impersonal way to communicate and shows that you didn’t make the effort to send a personal message.
    • Use terms like “us” and “we” in your texts to create a sense that you two are a thing. For example, “*wink* We make a great team.”
  3. Don’t be boring. Texting loses its excitement when you don’t put some effort into making the message interesting or exciting. You want your messages to stand out over the ones from other girls. Say something that will make him want to reply, like, “I want a rematch on that Mario Cart game.”[3]
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    • Be intriguing and subtle, and make the message about both of you. You want to make the guy curious so he asks for more information. Say something like, “The sky is beautiful out here, wish you were here,” or “I feel great right now, hope your evening is going as well as mine,” to lead him to ask where you are or what you are doing.
    • Don’t wait around for him to text “hi”. Work up the courage to start up the conversation yourself. He might be just as nervous as you are and will probably react positively to your initiative. If you want to be bold, say something flirty like “Hey cutie!”
  4. Ask questions. People like to talk about themselves. Once you start the conversation, keep it going by asking questions about his interests, past history and future goals. Great conversationalists know that the key to enjoyable conversation is to keep their partner engaged.
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    • These questions can be anything from “How was your day?” to “What kind of movies do you like?”
    • Ask questions related to what you’re talking about at the moment. For example, if you started the conversation asking what the English homework is, try asking him what other classes he’s taking and which are his favorite.
    • Ask open-ended questions. Simple “yes-or-no” questions usually don’t elicit a very long response and won’t tell you much about his personality. Instead of asking “Do you like our English teacher?”, try asking “What do you think of our English class?” or “Who do you have for history?”
  5. Find something in common with him, and mention it. This is where things like his Facebook profile can come in handy. Maybe find a few things you both like and subtly mention one. Movies, TV shows, music, and sports are usually great choices since people tend to be very passionate about their choices in entertainment. Throw in a quick reference to a famous scene or lyric — he’ll probably catch on.
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    • For example, if you both love the same band, ask him how he feels about a new single or which of their songs he likes the most.
    • If you guys disagree over something, don’t worry. A playful debate over whether ‘’Parks and Rec’’ or ‘’Community’’ is better can be friendly and fun — and you might be able to refer back to it later as an “inside joke.”
  6. Have a sense of humor. People appreciate things that make them laugh. Humor makes texting a lot more entertaining and is more likely to keep your guy engaged. Try sharing jokes or being clever. He’ll appreciate the effort.
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    • Teasing creates intimacy without being too serious, allows you to both share a laugh and encourages positive feelings about your relationship. Find something about him that you can make fun of without hurting his feelings. For example, mention the time he said “peeling” instead of “feeling” or his giant feet.
    • If he teases you, play along but don’t be afraid to joke that he owes you for hurting your feelings. For example, “Ouch! All my hopes and dreams have been crushed. The only thing that will make me feel better is if you take me out to see that movie you’ve been talking about.”
  7. Pick up on his cues. The way that he’s responding to your texts can tell you a lot about how he feels. If he seems to be responding to your texts fairly quickly (within a few minutes) and with decently long responses (a sentence or two), he is engaged in the conversation. If he’s sending a lot of one-word texts or just barely answering your questions after a long time, he’s probably not interested.
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    • Make sure texting is equal between the two of you. Just like any other type of communication, texting shouldn’t be one-sided. Your guy should be actively responding to each of your texts. Sending too many texts may come across as being desperate. On the other hand, letting him do all the texting will make you seem disinterested.
    • Don’t send a bunch of “Did u get my text?” messages.[4]
  8. Consider timing. Send a text when your guy will be able to enjoy it the most. If he’s at school or at a sports practice, then he won’t be able to spend the time you want him to on your message or a reply. Go for common downtimes like early morning and late evening.
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    • Sometimes sending a sweet or uplifting message can really be appreciated when he’s under stress, so texting during work hours every now and then may be fine.[5]
    • Texting at night can be more intimate and invite flirting.[6]
  9. Check texts before sending. You will want to review your spelling and grammar to make sure your message isn’t confusing. A lot of phones will have autocorrect features that will use the most common word choice when you start typing. If you don’t pay attention, your message could be read completely different than you intended .
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    • Use punctuation to add more to your message, for example (…) can signify something more is to come or that there is something undone or unsaid. It can be more flirty and suggestive than just a period. Keep exclamation points and question marks to a minimum so they don’t become distracting.

EditFlirting Via Text

  1. Don’t say anything via text you wouldn’t want to say (or do) in person. Texting shouldn’t replace in-person flirting or lead you to make promises you can’t keep. While it’s okay to say something you might be too embarrassed to say to your guy in person, make sure it is something you actually want to say. Remember that prolonged eye contact, flashing a brilliant smile and other body cues work best to create the kind of sparks you want between the two of you. Don’t let texting take priority over being with the person.
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  2. Be suggestive. Build anticipation by making comments that can be interpreted in a sexual way without being explicit. This keeps the conversation interesting and lends a more erotic note to your text flirtations. You can also misinterpret his innocent comments as referring to something naughty or sexual.
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    • Saying something like, “I have a craving for something strong, dark and handsome…like coffee. Let’s go get some,” is cute and witty.
    • Another example might be, “I just got out of the shower and can’t find a towel. I wish you were here to warm me up.”
    • You can also say, “I can’t wait to be alone with you” or “Want to play ;)”
  3. Compliment him. People love receiving compliments, and he’ll probably get the hint that you’re into him. Start mildly, maybe with a, “You have great taste in music!” or, after he says something funny, send him a “Hahaha, you’re really funny!” A little ego boost can go a long way to encourage him to flirt back.[7]
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    • Be genuine. There’s no reason to pay him a compliment you don’t mean. If you’re into him there are plenty of things about him that you like. Tell him.
    • To be more suggestive, you can say something like, “I can’t stop thinking about you in those Dickies” or “I’d love to run my fingers down that sexy back.”
  4. Set up plans for later. When the conversation is flowing (that is, both of you are really engaged and responding quickly), say something about maybe making plans together. If he knows you’re interested in spending some time together, you’re likely to stay on his mind. Plus, if he agrees to meet with you, then your goal of seeing him in person has been successful.
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    • You don’t have to ask him out on a date, but maybe mention a concert that’s coming up soon or a great coffee shop that he just ‘has to try.
    • Even something as simple as “We should meet up for coffee sometime!” might get the message across — you want to spend some time with him.
  5. Send a quote. Sometimes you just can’t find the right words to say. Texting a meaningful song lyric, poem line or quote can help express how you feel. If it’s a flirty line, then all the better.[8] An example might be, “Thou art to me a delicious torment” by Ralph Waldo Emerson.
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  6. Get physical. Talk about sensory experiences that you have had or will have when the two of you are together—sight, sound, smell and touch. Keep the messages appropriate for your relationship status. You can mention how you love his scent after working out, the way sweat glistens on his skin or how you enjoy feeling his hard stomach. Of course, you can get also racy if you are familiar with the person or want him to know what you want.
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  7. End the conversation with him wanting more. The goal of texting is to eventually get to see him in person. You don’t want the conversation to drag on until it becomes awkward and boring. End the conversation with something cute or flirty, like, “Hey, sexy, I gotta go. Let’s talk tomorrow” or “I had fun talking with you. Thanks for entertaining me. Can’t wait to see you.” [9]
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EditUsing Visuals

  1. Use emoticons. Emoticons are unique to communication forms like texting because they allow you to convey certain emotions and intentions that may be absent via text. They are playful visuals that can enhance your flirting or help make a point. Don’t overuse emoticons, though, or they may lose their playfulness.
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    • The smiley face may seem cheesy but can imply that you are flirting while still being a little innocent and mysterious. Smiley faces are rarely too bold, but they don’t go unnoticed. For example, “I can’t wait to see you again. :)”
    • The winking face implies that you may share a secret and can mean something mischievous or that you are making a dirty innuendo. For example, “There’s nothing I love more than sausage ;)”.
    • The blush can be a coy way to flirt if you want to keep up the appearance of being innocent. For example, if he says you look hot after you send him a photo, then you can use the :*) emoticon.
    • The kiss emoticon can be used when you really like something your guy says to you or when you want to imply that you’ll be doing a lot of this type of thing soon. :*
    • The licking lips emoticon can be very flirty if used in certain contexts like after your guy says he’s getting the shower, working out or undressing. :-9
  2. Use picture emoticons. Many phones allow you to select other emoticon images, such as an angel or devil face, face with heart eyes or something else. You can use these in your text messages to add an entertaining twist to your texts and convey more. He may just find there’s something sexy about an innocent comment said with the devil face next to it. Be able to gauge how much he likes you. If he responds like this then keep going! But if he doesn’t try to tone it down a bit and start from point A.
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  3. Send him suggestive images. There are plenty of artsy photos of nude bodies hugging or scantily clad women you can send along to get his attention. Don’t send anything too raunchy, though, or he may expect you to send him photos like that of yourself. Keep the images spicy but not vulgar.
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  4. Send him a sexy picture of you. Send something tastefully erotic or suggestive to let him know you want to take your flirting to the next level. Remember, you don’t have to send nude pictures to flirt with your guy. A shot of you wearing something classy but sexy next to a car or laying down suggestively will be appreciated.
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    • If you want to send a picture that is a little more naughty, consider one of your lips, hip-shot of your underwear, a bra strap or blurry cleavage. These may add an element of anticipation to your text flirting.[10]
    • One idea is to take a picture of two pairs of lingerie bottoms, and send it to him along with a text message asking, “pink…or black?”
    • Know that sending nude pictures to anyone can be damaging to you if they get circulated. Don’t risk it. [11]

EditFlirting Help

Ways to Flirt with a Guy over Text


  • Be careful not to start off too forward, unless that is your style. A guy can be easily thrown off if a girl is too flirty, too soon. You don’t want to be the creepy girl that his friends joke about.
  • Stay away from talking too much about your problems or complaining. This gives off a negative vibe and may push the guy away.
  • Respect a guy’s disinterest. If he doesn’t seem into you, don’t keep flirting with him. Your efforts will probably be a waste of time and maybe even a nuisance to him.
  • As fun as text flirting may be, don’t get stuck on it. If you feel like you both have made it clear that you’re interested, ask him on a date. Don’t let the flirting stagnate.

EditRelated wikiHows

  • Flirt over Text Messages (for Teen Girls)
  • Flirt With Boys Without Being Obvious
  • Flirt over the Phone
  • Flirt With a Boy when You Are 13 or 14

EditSources and Citations

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